Cheesy title, but it's the best I could do, so you will have to bear with me. :)
Random ~ Did I ever brag on my husband for getting me my first Mother's Day card?? I really thought my mother-in-law had put him up to it because she helps us women out by helping the guys out. :) The card said something to the effect of "I know we don't have kids yet, but you are still mothering even now, as you prepare our home and pray for our child." I am the most blessed wife in the world. Soon I will get to be the most blessed mom! I can't wait to see Chad and our little girl together on the next Mothers' and Fathers' Day. =o)
Today was a very exciting day! Stessful, but exciting. Our worker e-mailed us our Home Study and had us look over everything and make any additions or deletions, as well as correct spelling and grammar. I had to teach last night and didn't end up getting done at the studio until 8:30, so I barely had time to work on the Home Study. Chad had to work today, so I did all the editing and just had him sign it before he left for work.
I stayed up late reviewing it and then couldn't sleep. I was probably so excited! I was also stressed because our worker prefered if we had it into her today before she leaves on vacation on Sunday. I had been getting a little worried when May 31 came around, because from what I remembered her saying, she was required to get it into DHS by June 1. Well, come to find out, that was just her deadline for herself to start working on it. With the recent severe tornados, she wasn't able to get to ours because she was serving meals for those who lost homes and/or family in the storms. There were also two other families ahead of us. She texted me yesterday and told me she pushed ours up to be completed before her vacation! I thought that was sooo nice! I don't know why she decided to do that. I like to think we are one of her favorites. :) But I think it's just because she didn't want to take work with her on vacation!
Timeline... Well, she did tell us the timeline, however I do not remember it. It is just the waiting game. We are purposely waiting to look at profiles and do any visits after I get back from my mission trip. All I can think about right now is just being eager for my mission trip to be over so that I can focus on the adoption more, and have a more "parental" perspective. Right now I have mixed emotions between knowing what's in my future for dance, and becoming a mother. But I will just have to be patient and take one day at a time, focusing on my trip, then when that is done I can start the nursery and other preparations! Which pediatrician? That is a difficult decision!
My trip...I am so excited, scared, blessed, unprepared, eager to go on the trip - It is one of my many "must do" before parenthood. I have always wanted to dance in a professional company. I have recently (within the last 5 years or so) wanted to reach out more to others. Looking back at my life, it is kind of sad... I really don't feel I have reached out and give back as much as I could. I have always wanted to be a part of a dance mission trip. So, I get to do all of the above! I feel that it will be life changing for me, that it will make truly make me a better parent. It will be refreshing to get focused, spiritually, for an extended period of time, and it's coming at the perfect time because when I get back we will begin looking at profiles! The trip nor the adoption feel real to me 100 percent. I have a feeling I am going to wake up one day and suddenly be a mom. I don't have the luxury of preparing, changing, growing physically for a child, but I do have the luxury of allowing my heart to be re-focused and taught, disciplined, calmed, contented. After I get back, and hopefully while I am there, I will feel like a huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders because I finally obeyed in something that is difficult to do. I can say I didn't take the easy way out. I hope I can know that I have changed someone's heart by touching them with the love of Christ in some way. Same with adopting. So many people have a heart for it, but fear holds them back. I am finally seeing darkness behind me, and now light is before me as I take these steps, one day at a time. One mission complete at a time. One thing I look forward to is training our child to give back to others. It just seems so fundamental and not something extra, but rather something a part of a weekly, or at least monthly routine. Another idea: I might be out of my mind thinking a child would sit still in the morning after first waking up, but I hope to instill in our children the discipline of reading and praying first thing in the morning as we start the day. Why as adults do we sooo have trouble reading and praying everyday? It wasn't a part of our daily routine as a child. Or, maybe it was, which definitely counts, but it was right before bedtime. We learned to save God for last, at the end of the day when we are spent; because of that, in adulthood I have to use most of the time before bed for confession because Ididn't ask Him to help me glorify Him through the day. I just cross it off my to-do list so I can get some sleep. I put all my other "important" to-dos ahead of God. So, that is something I think would encourage that daily discipline for myself and our children. I will get off my soapbox now, thank you. :)
Next mission: Complete training this Saturday, June 11! We are having a fun class, with a potluck lunch. This completion puts us one step closer to her. Sweet baby girl, I pray you are safe and feeling loved tonight as I type this. We are all here waiting for you as God watches over you.
