Well, I got lost on my way to MOPS.  :(  My GPS is terrible at those back country roads.  I never did find it, and it took me over an hour to get there, even though it is in the same "small" town I live in - had no idea that was still considered our county!  MOPS only meets once a month, so our next meeting is the 13th.  I'm not sure if I will go this semester or not...because we will only meet for 3 months (Oct., Nov., Dec.) and I still probably won't have a child during that time... I don't know though - I still need the support.  So, we'll see.

Well, we have some exciting news that we received over the weekend!  We were invited to our first adoption "party."  We have mixed feelings about this...for one, we know it will be fun - food and games - but also nervous because we'll be arriving late because Chad gets off work that morning, and the event starts at 10!  I'm nervous we won't make it in time to look at the profiles before the kids arrive...  We also have mixed feelings because we know that it will be sad seeing all those kids, especially the older ones.  They know why they are there, but they are there because they want a family.  I was thinking that some of the older ones might be there but SAY they don't even want a family (because they have been going for so many years and now they are older and think there's no hope left, or that they're old enough now that they think they don't "need" or don't "want" a family - kind of as a coping method rather than real feelings, maybe?  I don't know?  I just can't imagine how I would feel...going to the parties for all those years).  Anyway, we are going to the party, even though it's over an hour away, just to see what it's like and mainly just to play with the kids.  I'm sure it will be fun also.  We are going to make a weekend out of it and stay in a hotel overnight.  So it will be good to have a mini-vacation/date with hubby.  :)  It is much needed, since I was gone for our anniversary!  He was so sweet to offer.  :)

The other news we received was our first "Staffing" list from the September caseworker meeting.  It is a list of about 60 names.  Actual children.  I teared up and my heart was pounding when I read it!  It's strange to think, "Maybe this list will have our child's name on it!"  There were only two 3 year olds, and maybe one 4 year old.  The others were must older...9, 12, 16... I wonder how many "lists" those older ones have been on.  :( 

I talked with our caseworker for the first time today.  She sounds very nice and is helpful with my questions.  I'm trying not to ask too much, but it's hard!  I have these decisions to make about my Fall and Spring schedules and it's hard to not keep life on hold but at the same time not wanting to book up so that we will be available for whatever comes/whenever our child comes.  I would hate to think that I missed out on a work opportunity that I could be doing for a year, but I would also hate to committ to something that I can't finish.  I don't want to burn any bridges!  One question I asked is how many families our caseworker has right now.  She has 12 families that she is advocating for in the monthly staffing meetings.  There are tons of other caseworkers that put their "clients'" names in as well, at the meetings.  On October 11th is the October Staffing Meeting where they will go over all the kids and special needs and all the families that are wanting to adopt.  On October 12th, 13th, and 14th, we get to come up to the DHS office and look at the profiles of the children they see a potential "match" for us for.  Hope my wording makes sense?  It's kind of confusing!

As far as the timeline, our previous worker had been somewhat positive about the wait time for a child 0-3 years old... The previous worker said yes, we do have babies but did also warn, of course, that the wait time is going to be longer.  Our new/permanent worker was less optimistic...She said it's going to be awhile.  At the same time, she said that we will have to re-do our paperwork once our "year" is up...so that is in like 4 months...so she was kind of talking as if we would find a match in the next 2 months... I just remember her saying something about 2 months...I don't know.

Well, we are in this almost a year now (February, I think?), so yes, a year seems like awhile from now, but it also goes by quickly!  I am trying to look on the bright side!

So, that is the latest update!  We are just giving it all to God, because it's totally out of our hands now.  Like the song says, "It feels like chaos, but I believe You're up to something, bigger than me...Larger than life - something heavenly."

Megan